Do you give treats or tricks?
When answering the door on Halloween, I don’t wear a costume, but I want to be part of the fun. So I wear a ghost necklace and jack-o-lantern T-shirt to let the kids know I share their elation. There’s conversation, smiles, and candy for all!
When you reach a goal or complete a project, sharing your achievement with a colleague or friend is part of the reward. If that person responds unexpectedly — with low energy or negativity — your excitement diminishes. How you feel about your accomplishment may also deflate. Next time you’ll share good news with someone else.
Ultimately, the interaction damages your trust in the relationship.
Do you build trust?
Our communication styles, including how we respond to other people’s achievements, influence trust.
In a recent episode of his podcast Practicing Human, Corey Muscara describes the details of four possible responses we have when people share good news. They’re known as Gable’s Four Responses to Good News (2), and they are:
Shares the excitement, is interested and supportive. High energy, “That’s fantastic! Tell me more.”
Low energy and passive. A weak smile and “That’s good.”
Identifies the failures of your news, with energy and emotion. Intensely, “Don’t get too excited, they were just trying to meet a quota.”
Acknowledges you spoke, but then proceeds to their own story. Uninterested, “Good.” Then, “Did you hear about my meeting…”
How do you respond to good news?
Think about the last time you shared good news. What type of response did you get, and how did it make you feel?
How do you respond to others?
Is there a person in your office everyone gravitates to when they’re excited? It may be because he or she gives active-constructive comments. That person can be counted on to appreciate your excitement.
Do you have difficulty building professional relationships? Becoming aware of your responses to good news can be a step toward building trust.
Practice answering with an active-constructive response:
1. Listen with interest to the news.
2. Respond with a with a supportive word or phrase.
3. Speak with excitement, a smile, and eye contact.
Treat your colleagues to enthusiastic support!
Contact iSpeak Clearly to schedule your free consultation.
(1) Muscara, C. (2022, October 4). Practicing Human. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/practicing-human/id1299444208?i=1000581493627
(2) Kinsella, S., Team, the M. T. C., wrote, B. T., wrote, nyia-15, & wrote, M. (n.d.). Gable’s [MAM2] four responses to good news: Responding positively to other people’s happiness. From MindTools.com. Retrieved October 26, 2022, from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/gables-responses-to-good-news.htm