Secret #13: Silence Is Stronger Than Filler
Have you ever listened to a recording of yourself and cringed?
Maybe it was a voicemail, a Zoom replay, or a presentation you recorded to review. And within the first 30 seconds, there it was.
“Um.”
“Uh.”
“Like.”
“You know.”
Three times. Five times. More.
In this week’s Keeping Communication Top of Mind session, we talked about how nerves show up before we speak. This is one of the clearest ways they show up while we speak.
Here’s what I want you to know: you are not alone. And more importantly — this is not who you are. It’s what you do right now. There’s a difference.
Fillers are your brain’s placeholder.
When you need a moment to think, your brain reaches for a sound — any sound — to hold the floor. It’s an unconscious reflex — not part of your identity. But if left unchecked, it can shape how others perceive you.
And that matters.
Your audience doesn’t hear a thinking brain. They hear uncertainty. And uncertainty, repeated, chips away at the credibility you’ve worked hard to build.
Research on speech and perception shows that speakers who use frequent filler words are often seen as less confident, less prepared, and less authoritative — even when the message itself is strong. Your audience makes those judgments quickly.
Secret #13: Silence is stronger than filler.
The executives and professionals I coach learn to replace fillers with something far more powerful: intentional silence.
A deliberate pause says:
I’m thinking carefully before I speak.
“Um” says:
I’m not sure.
Same moment. Completely different message.
Here’s how to break change the pattern and create a new filler habit:
Become aware first.
You can’t change what you can’t hear. Record a meeting, a call, or a practice run. Count your fillers. The number may surprise you — and that awareness is where change begins.
Pause instead of filling.
When you feel “um” rising, close your mouth. Breathe. Let the silence sit for two seconds. It feels much longer to you than it does to your listener.
Slow down overall.
Fillers multiply when you rush. Give yourself permission to think before you speak. That signals confidence — not hesitation.
Build transitional phrases.
Try:
“Here’s what matters…”
“Consider this…”
“The key point is…”
These buy you a beat to gather your next thought — cleanly, without filler.
Action Step:
Pick one filler word you use most — um, uh, like, or you know.
For one conversation today, catch it before it comes out and replace it with silence.
Start there.
One word.
One pause.
One conversation at a time.
Every “um” you eliminate is a credibility point you earn back.
Be Confident. Be Heard.
Blending science, mindfulness and joy for confident communication.
